Thursday, March 15, 2012

For Rich...and those who love him still

I have a belief that is grounded in Catholic Theology about the nature of the Body of Christ.  This belief says that those whom we love and with whom we are physically connected to in community are saved, not by professing a belief in Jesus Christ, or accepting Him as their personal Lord and Savior, but rather “through the Body of Christ”.  I am referring to a community of Love that binds people together. 

This belief brings me comfort this week as I mourn the loss of an old friend.  I met Rich when I was in the first grade.  He and I attended eight years of Catholic elementary school and four years of Catholic high school together in the suburbs outside of Chicago.  We were not close friends during those twelve years, but when the St. Mary’s 8th grade Class of ’77 found each other on Facebook over three years ago, the bonds from having grown up together all those years ago came back, and the synergy, both on the web and at our eventual reunion, was tangible.  It was real!  There was a bond…
There IS a bond.  My friend Rich left this world on March 12th on his own terms.  I did not know he was battling severe depression over the past year.  I found out this week that his attempts at seeking help through medication were unsuccessful.  He died the way people die from severe depression.  Suicide IS the end result of untreatable depression.  My friend Rich was an avowed atheist who also happened to be Gay.  Since reconnecting on Facebook, Rich and I have shared some very lively blog posts.  He loved to point out “the error of my ways” for believing in an unscientifically proven God.  I loved teasing him that he wasn't helping my cause, as I blogged in frustration at the sexual abuse crisis in the Church.  I loved Rich. The fact is, I didn't tell him I loved him simply because I was called to love him, “as a Christian” and I certainly had no intention of ever trying to change who he was.  I truly loved Rich for precisely who he was.  First and foremost, I loved his sense of humor.   Just recently I was venting on Facebook about running into a person with whom I used to be close, but for whom I have lost much respect in recent years.  I wrote, “Some people go through life blissfully unaware that they are part of the problem, and who, but for their lack of courage, could be part of the solution”.   Rich, in his usual witty flare responded, “Oh geez, what did I do now?”  I was quick to respond to Rich that he was NOT part of the problem.  No, Rich was SO part of the solution.

I say this because Rich’s mind was beautiful!  He had the ability to get to the heart of an issue.  As a fellow logical thinker, with a sarcastic tone that couldn’t hold a candle to his, I had an immense appreciation for Rich’s mind.  He challenged me to think, and NOT to take things at face value.  But he always communicated to me in a respectful manner, and never judged me for having beliefs that couldn’t necessarily be proven through science.  Someone once told me, “Thoughts are energy, and since energy cannot be created or destroyed, only changed, our thoughts live on after our physical bodies pass away”.  I find comfort in this because it means that Rich’s thoughts will remain as an energy force in our world.  I want and need Rich’s thoughtful energy in my life.  I believe our world needs the thoughtful energy Rich shared with so many of us. 
So I share this reflection hopefully to bring some level of comfort to Rich’s family and friends.  I especially reach out to my fellow classmates from the St. Mary’s Class of ’77.  Gone are the days when word of the manner of someone’s death had to be spoken of in hushed circles.  And if I am correct in my belief about the Body of Christ, Rich died in the loving embrace of THIS community of love.   We physically embraced Rich with our outstretched arms of love when we reconnected with him three years ago, and we  continue to hold him in our loving embrace today, through our thoughts and memories of him.  I believe that matters for us, and for Rich.

Mary Hanlon Castronuovo

Thursday, March 8, 2012

"Resting in the Arms of My Sisters"

So I gave up negative Blogging about the Roman Catholic Hierarchy for Lent.  So far, I think I've done OK, save for a couple of "likes" here and there on other peoples' comments on FB.  Seriously though, as much it may appear that I aspire more to be Maureen Dowd, than Mother Teresa, I do realize that there is a time for pushing the envelope, and a time for pulling back, turning inward, and resisting the urge to comment on every remark made by Cardinal Dolan!

During Lent, we are called to "go into the desert" so to speak, just as Jesus did.  Jesus needed this time, not just to re-energize, but to wrestle with the demons that were always trying to trip him up. There are many ways to do this though.  Certainly, taking time away from the "noise" of TV, the internet, and Facebook is a start, and replacing that noise with quiet reflective prayer...and listening to the Divine Essence that resides in each and every one of us is crucial.  Ideally, we would all make this a part of our daily routine.  Lent is a time to refocus our efforts in this regard.  But there is another way that I experience the desert spirituality of Jesus.  I "steal away" from home, family, work, and play, to spend an hour or two a week with my sisters in the Vineyard.  Why sisters? because it is here that I MOST experience the unconditional love and fellowship of Jesus. 

There is something unique about a group of women coming together to share their journeys, and reflect with one another the presence of the Divine.  There is no judgement, but we do challenge one another to see our stumbling blocks.  Two such groups have surfaced in my life recently.  One is a periodic book group through the parish in the city where I work, and the other is a group that formed as a result of this blog, with women from the parish where I have raised all of my children.  Both are a welcome gift of "desert spirituality" in my life where I am called to be better tomorrow, than I am today.  "Because when we know better, we do better". (Fr. Phil from my sister's parish in Indiana).

I also have four actual sisters with whom I grew up in a family of seven children.  They have been very present in my mind of late.  One sister left today for a mission trip in Kenya!  She has been preparing for several months for this trip and my thoughts and prayers are with her over these next 10 days.  Another sister turns 50 this year and has decided to plan a "sisters' weekend" this summer to celebrate.  She too is feeling the call to sisterhood of late.

I honestly believe God is calling women together in this age because God needs us to heal this broken world.  It is time to listen, to reflect, and to join together, so that the healing power of God can animate us to create a world where love and fellowship reign among all peoples.